Ok lets just get straight down to it. I am tired of seeing all those “silly” posts about how your computer/equipment/daw is your girlfriend and the only “woman” you need. Sometimes, I am not sure how serious they really are, or how lonely or not you may be sitting behind that beautiful Mac of your’s. I am aware though, that often being a producer or a musician in general can equal to less than ideal circumstances for a happy relationship. Now, I am not saying you aren’t happy without a girlfriend or partner BUT if the idea is that maybe someday you want to be involved in a committed relationship, it is important to have an idea to what the hell is required.
Here is a bit of advice, from a woman who has been with a Mac obsessed, Logic loving and Virus T addicted man for several years, in how to have a happy relationship with more than your own “hardware”.
- Invite her into your world. That means exposing her to your little corner of the world where music is your “second” greatest passion (after her of course). You might want to clean up first.
- Make sure she like’s your music from the get go. Play your music for her, discreetly, to get a feel if this is something she enjoy’s. If she can’t stand the music you make or that you listen to, it might be a rough go of it.
- Don’t put down her own musical tastes, as you wouldn’t want her to treat your music that way. Having a wider range of music in your life is never a minus and the more open you are to her likes, the more open she is likely to be to yours. Plus, this gives you both a chance to understand each other better.
- Ya ya, music is your life. Now get up and take her out on a date, out on the town or on an adventure. Exploring life, seeing a bit more than just what your computer has to show you, with her at your side, can bring in a whole lot of new inspiration and happiness. It might also just keep her off your back for the rest of the weekend to work on your music too.
- Giver her your full attention, make time for her, spoil her. A happy woman is a woman who is more likely to support you and give you space and time for your own things aka music.
- Encourage her to have her own passions as well. Be as encouraging and supportive of her, as you wish her to be of you.
- Make a place in your musical world for her. This can mean having a space in your studio you share with her where she can read or be on her computer, near you but enjoying your own things.
- Listen to her when she tells you to take a break, or that pad or hat or whatever sounds like crap. Use it as a chance to tell her how beautiful she is, how much you adore her, whatever it is about her that makes her awesome enough to listen to and cherish. And give your ears a break while you’re at it.
- Involve her in your music, if she is interested. Record her voice, show her around your DAW, let her help you make a track. Invite her to be a part of what you do, if nothing else so she can better understand the work you put into the music and have a different appreciation for it.
- Not to be cheesy but it really is the small things. By taking time for her, making sure her needs are meet and involving her in your life (musical and otherwise), you are building a foundation for a happy and healthy relationship.
And don’t worry, I’ll be writing a blog post soon about how to be a good “Producers Girlfriend”. We all have our own idea’s of what is necessary for a happy relationship and I would be happy to hear if you agree with me, disagree with me or feel I’ve left something out.